Dance with Me
A SONG. A VISION. A STANDING INVITATION.
Growing up, I never attended a Daddy-daughter dance. In fact, school dances weren’t really a thing in my family. Perhaps more honestly said, we weren’t allowed to go to dances.
This meant that any idea I had of a school dance came from TV shows or movies.
The younger me was always intrigued by the typical ‘boy likes girl’ storyline where the boy has been waiting for the perfect moment to confess his love to her. What better place and time than to do it at the school dance? And so, the narration of my daydreams would go, “From across the gymnasium their eyes make contact, and they are drawn together by an invisible magnetic force. They are now standing face-to-face, staring deep into each other’s eyes. Boy says to girl, “Will you dance with me?”. She accepts. He draws her close and they begin to dance. It is as if they are the only two people left on the face of the earth (besides the DJ in the corner of the gym). She smiles to herself as she realizes that out of all the girls at the dance, she was the one he wanted to dance with. She feels safe in his arms, as she rests her head on his shoulder and secretly revels in the fact that she was his ‘Chosen one’.” – Cut!
Oh, how my young heart longed to be that ‘Chosen’ girl and to experience the magic and the safety of knowing I was ‘The One’. In fact, I lived the greater part of my life in search of those magical moments, when my eyes would lock eyes with that someone who was already looking for me.
But when I didn’t find those eyes, my heart would grow desperate. I would begin to wonder why, “what was wrong with me?” “Why am I never chosen?” “What do they have, that I don’t?” It wasn’t long before I began to do things to be noticed. And well, people took notice, but sadly they didn’t always intend to offer my head a place of rest.
Between the experiences of “seek and not found” along with the times my desire to be chosen was taken advantage of, I became convinced that “I was not good enough”. This lie strangled any hope that I was worthy of being chosen, even by God.
By the time I was a teenager, I had this deep inner sense that God was intentionally passing me over. While everyone else had a praise report, it would seem as if my prayers had gone unanswered. When people would talk about how close they felt to God, I felt Him distant and cold. Sitting at the altar, I can remember feeling like God was touching everyone’s heart, except for mine. I concluded that I must have done something to have fallen out of grace causing Him to turn His back on me.
So, I relegated to a new plan.
I would commit myself to living a blameless life of obedience, service, and sacrifice at all costs, to get His attention. For a season, I would feel closer to God, but inevitably it wouldn’t last. Afterall, I am a human desperately in need of a Savior, incapable of perfection. Before long, the vicious cycle would start over, and I would find myself struggling once again to believe that God loved me unconditionally.
It wasn’t until well into my adult life, that I came across a quote from William P. Young (author of The Shack), that began to shed light on my inability to see God as my loving Father. In reflecting on his relationship with his father Young said, “…it took me 50 years to wipe the face of my father off the face of God.”. It began to become clear to me how my childhood experiences of not feeling good enough, not making the cut or simply not being seen or heard at all, had shaped the way I related with the world around me, and more importantly, how I related to God. This new understanding began a healing journey for me, and an undoing of what I had come to believe about God as my Father.
Fast forward to the summer of 2022…
I was invited to speak at a Summer Youth camp where I shared a message on how our view of ‘God as Father’ can be distorted by our earthly experiences. We often end up ‘typecasting’ God as the Angry, Absent or Abusive Father, based on our experiences with our earthly fathers. Or as the Critical, Inpatient or Overbearing Father, based on our experience with our earthly mothers. Or the Undependable, Fickle or Unfaithful Father, based on our experiences with other adults or friends who have let us down in one way or another. When we experience rejection, betrayal, or abandonment from those who were meant to care for us, our ability to rest, trust, and receive care from others, including from our heavenly Father is negatively impacted.
The truth is, the relationship God offers us is the only one true and perfect relationship we can count on. Why? Because He laid eyes on us, way before we even knew to look for Him. He loved us first. (1 John 4:19)
THE SONG
As I stood at the back of the sanctuary on the last night of camp I watched as the teenagers made their way to the altar in response to the Pastor’s invitation to seek God. As they gathered around the front, it took me back to the many times I sat at the altar and had felt that God had passed me by. I began to pray for anyone of them that might be struggling, like I had, to believe that they were good enough and worthy of God’s love. And at that very moment, when my mind was fixed on praying for these young people, I had a most surreal experience.
As the worship team began singing the song, “Wait On You” by Elevation Music & Maverick City, with my eyes closed in prayer, I got this strong sense that someone was looking at me. So naturally, I opened my eyes and looked around to see who was looking my way. I found no one. So, I closed my eyes again and focused on the song, but still couldn’t shake this feeling that someone was trying to get my attention. It was right at that moment that the song broke out into the chorus, and the music flooded my soul.
I'm gonna wait on You
I'm gonna wait on You
I've tasted Your goodness
I'll trust in Your promise
I'm gonna wait on You
Yes, I'm gonna wait on You (yeah)
I've tasted Your goodness
I'll trust in Your promise
I'm gonna wait on You
Yes, I will, yes, I will
I will, I will, I will (I will), yeah
THE VISION
This time, without opening my eyes, I looked down and saw my 12-year-old feet wearing shiny black patten shoes, standing on the wooden planks of my grade 8 school gymnasium.
“As I looked up, I saw a dance floor in front of me. On the far end of the dance floor stood a man that I recognized as Father God, with his hand outstretched towards me, as if He was asking if He could have this dance with me. In my vision, I looked around to make sure He was looking at me. Sure enough, there was no one beside me, nor behind me. It was me; He was inviting me to the dance floor. I was the one He had chosen. In my heart I said, “Yes!” and it was as if the music carried me over to Him, and I immediately wrapped my arms around Him, and He wrapped His around me.
Every dream I had ever dreamt, as a child, every desire from my teenager years, and every longing as grown woman to be the “Chosen One” came true in that very moment. No one could separate me from the love that I felt in the very depths of my soul! I laid my head on his heart, and He swept me off my feet. He led me in the most beautiful dance I have ever experienced. We covered every corner of the dance floor! I was His and He was mine!”
I know You ordered every step
Yeah, You are the Author
And there's no predicting what is next
But You hold the future
And all the questions they come second
To the one I know is true, yeah
Oh, you've always been true
So I'm gonna wait on You, yes
I'm gonna wait on You
I've tasted Your goodness
I'll trust in Your promise
I'm gonna wait on You (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'm gonna wait on You (Jesus)
I've tasted Your goodness
I'll trust in Your promise
I'm gonna wait on You
I didn’t want the song to ever end! When it finally came to an end, my heart was overflowing. As I stood there in front of Him, He said, “This dance might be over, but I am always here. Anytime you find yourself in the middle of a struggle, alone or downcast, you can find me here. Or even if you just feel like dancing, know I am waiting for you.”
THE STANDING INVITATION
Right there at Youth camp, this grown woman had her very first dance with Father God!
For weeks after this experience, I could close my eyes and find myself right back on the dance floor. And it wasn’t long before certain worships songs on the radio and at church, began to turn into an invitation to meet God on the dance floor. In fact, it is quite commonplace at my house these days, to find Alexa playing worship music on full blast while I dance across my kitchen and living room floor, singing, and smiling from ear to ear.
God truly is waiting for us to come and experience His presence. His hand is outstretched to anyone who needs to feel His arms wrapped around them, anyone who needs a shoulder to rest their head on, or whose feet need to take flight!
When was the last time you danced with your Father God?
I invite you to give it a try! I promise, He doesn’t disappoint.
To get you started, I have compiled a dance-list of my favorite songs:
1. “Wait On You” - Elevation Music & Maverick City
2. “Gold” - Jesus Culture (feat. Katie Torwalt)
3. “Known” – Tauren Wells
4. “No Bondage” - Jubilee (feat. Jennifer Ese & Anthony Brown)
5. “Dancing on the Waves” - Bethel Music feat. We The Kingdom
6. …
Be sure to leave your favorite dance songs in the comments below.
1 John 4:19 NIV
